tools2connect
Constellation.
A Space to Meet Each Other
Constellations are a systemic method used to explore the roles we hold within the many groups we belong to — our families, communities, teams, identities, and social spaces. When a group concentrates on one intention, something happens: patterns, tensions, and connections become visible through posture, distance, silence, and instinct.
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This light version offers the essence of systemic work in an accessible format. You don’t need prior knowledge — only curiosity and a willingness to sense rather than analyse. When we place roles in space and embody them, we meet the system by meeting ourselves.
About This Method
This exercise is inspired by our collaboration with Annemarie, a systemic practitioner with decades of experience in constellation work. She explains:
“As people we want to belong - it is our nature. The personal consciousness can conflict with the group consciousness — constellations help us see the difference.”
The goal isn’t to overshare or go deep into personal stories. Instead, it’s to receive what is present: shifts in attention, breath, direction, boundaries, impulses. It is an art to take reality as it is — pleasant or uncomfortable — without trying to fix it immediately.
This exercise is especially helpful for exploring polarities, widening perspectives, and revealing dynamics between social roles. It works because all the necessary information is already within us. The constellation simply gives it a shape you can see and feel.
This is systemic work in its simplest, most approachable form.
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*Disclaimer
This exercise is inspired by the principles of systemic constellation work, but it is not a full constellation session. Constellations as a practice go much deeper, require skilled facilitation, and involve layers of systemic awareness that extend beyond what we explore here.
Our intention is simply to make some of these relational insights accessible — to offer a light, safe way for people to connect, sense, and discover perspectives they may not have encountered before. Think of this as an entry point: a simple doorway into a much wider practice of seeing and being seen.
Constellation Exercise: Exploring Your Roles in Different Systems
An experimental exercise to get a sense of the kind of information you can access by making contact with each other in a different way.
Roles
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A — The Researcher
Chooses three roles they hold in different systems.
[written on separate sheets of paper]
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B — The Representative
Represents the person who A will be relating to in the chosen systems
[ex. a peer, teammate, friend, classmate]
B will be keeping one fixed position in the space.
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C — The Observer
Notices what happens neutrally, without interpretation.
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1. Prepare the space
Create an open area where the three participants can move freely and relate to each other spatially.
2. Grounding (5 minutes)
All three take a moment to arrive in their bodies:
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breathe consciously
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feel feet, seat, spine, breath
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shift attention from thinking to sensing the present moment
This helps create the “field” of shared attention — the foundation of constellation work.
3. A chooses three roles
A writes three roles from different systems of their life or identity on separate sheets [example roles are provided below].
4. C chooses an observing position
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Somewhere with clear visibility but no active involvement.
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5. A places the role sheets
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A arranges the three sheets intuitively in the space.
No logic, no planning — just instinct.
6. B takes a position
B chooses a stable spot in the room.
They will relate to the different roles that A will step into.
7. Round 1 (A steps into Role 1)
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A steps onto the first role sheet and simply relates to B from this role.
No talking — just sensing:
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posture
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direction of gaze
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closeness or distance
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impulses to move
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emotional or bodily shifts
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C observes from a distance.
8. A shakes off the role and moves to Role 2
A physically steps off the sheet, gives a small shake or breath to symbolically “leave” the role, then stands on the second sheet.
Again, A relates to B from that perspective.
9. Repeat for Role 3
Same process: stand, sense, relate.
10. Shared observations
After all three roles have been visited, A, B, and C take turns sharing observations guided by these prompts:
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What did you see or hear?
(breathing speed, gaze direction, skin tone, posture, impulses to move) -
Did the dynamic between A and B shift between roles?
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How did A’s stance, energy, or distance change?
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Did anything stay the same across roles?
No interpretation, no analysis — just noticing.
Focus on holding a safe space!
Provide simple, real & clear explanations.
Example Role Groups [for the role of B]
[youth-relevant, diverse, polarised topics]
You can invite A to choose roles from different spheres of their identity, interests, or activism. Here are sets you can offer as inspiration:
Identity & Social Belonging
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“Me as a daughter/son/sibling”
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“Me as someone questioning my identity”
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“Me as the friend who always listens”
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“Me as the one who avoids conflict”
Gender & Sexuality
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“Me as a woman/man/non-binary person”
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“Me as someone advocating for LGBTQ+ rights”
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“Me navigating gender expectations”
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“Me as the queer friend in a mostly straight group”
Politics & Society
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“Me as a climate activist”
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“Me as someone who avoids politics”
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“Me as the voter who feels unheard”
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“Me as someone conflicted about social issues”
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​​​Feel free to mix these categories — the more diverse, the more revealing the constellation becomes. Have fun!
School & Youth Culture
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“Me as a student trying to keep up”
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“Me in my friend group”
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“Me as someone who feels on the outside”
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“Me as the team player in sports or group projects”
Social Justice & Marginalisation
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“Me as someone standing up for anti-racism”
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“Me as the person who feels privileged”
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“Me as the person who feels overlooked”
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“Me navigating bias within my community”
Work & Responsibility
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“Me as a part-time worker trying to survive”
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“Me as the reliable coworker”
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“Me as someone afraid to disappoint”
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“Me as the leader in a group project”
This method was developed in collaboration with Annemarie Wiersema. Annemarie is a systemic coach with more than 25 years of experience in healthcare and guidance work. Growing up on a farm and later working across many roles in care, she developed a sharp eye for patterns, relationships, and what moves beneath the surface. Systemic work became her compass, and she now helps people gain clarity by looking at situations through a wider lens.
If you want to learn more about her and her work, please visit her website.